The New Kid

I can't say it has been easy.  The last 6 months have been the craziest, quickest and slowest 6 months of my life. 6 months ago I was packing my stuff, endlessly sorting and packing and throwing away and crying and giving away and cleaning and packing.  A year ago I was searching and praying and crying and worrying and searching and searching and searching. Today I have been living.

What I did today:

• Chatted with a dear friend on FB early in the morning.
• Sang too loud and long in church - twice.
• Hung out with a family at their home, walked through their garden, clucked at their chickens, buttered bread for a little boy, shared heart-truths with a friend.
• Took a long nap with my cat.
• Talked on the phone with my mom.
• Watched several episodes of a good tv show and missed the kind, sweet, generous man who recorded them for me, but I talked to him on the phone today, too.
• Played my uke.

In short, I'm back to living life. Sure, I got a little teary during a few episodes of Growing Up Fisher, and I miss my friends back in Ohio.  I miss my Sunday afternoons of knitting and sharing with Laura, Don, Josh and whoever else showed up.  I miss the ease of never having to look at a map to find my way around town. I miss not having to explain the backstory of my life every time I share anything. I miss knowing other backstories, too.  Heck, I miss  being certain I know the person's name who is talking to me.  I often have to ask!

But I don't miss the worry.  My house is sold, my job is secure, my boss likes me, I'm working hard and I'm passionate about my job again, I'm involved in a good church where I and those around me are valued and loved and I feel like I'm really starting to make a place for myself here.

Oh, and yea, I kinda like all the sunshine.  I mean - it's always sunny!  Except at night.  California is dark at night.  You know, like normal.

I'm still The New Kid, but I seem to have found people who "get" me.  What a blessing.

What Makes You Happy?

A friend just posted an article from Buzzfeed that is a list of things scientifically proven to make you happier.  I believe these things are true as I've found them to be true in my own life!

I am going to take care of 1, 2 and 3 simultaneously tonight as I sit here in my blue office room wearing a blue sweatshirt that evokes wonderful memories of a trip to LA about 14 years ago and blog a quick list of what I'm grateful for.  Then I'm going to take care of 9 and 4 by going to bed and praying (meditating) before sleep.

• I am thankful for a family that loves me and loves one another; my parents who have been examples of grace and generosity my whole life, my big brother who would move mountains for me if I needed, my sister who loves me with a ferocity that is unmatched, their spouses who love and support them, and my many "adopted" siblings.
• I am thankful for my son.  He is a miracle in so many ways, even just for surviving the uncertain beginning in this life that my weak body gave him, but he's so much more than that: creative, smart, thoughtful, kind, sincere and passionate about his dreams and goals.  I am so thankful to be his mother.
• I am thankful for my dear friends, who provide support and encouragement to me during the rough times, adventure and excitement during better times and laughter through both.
• I am thankful for my dear new friend Troy, brilliant, funny, kind and thoughtful, who has been a source of joy these last 6 months despite my crazy, crazy life.  I don't believe that it's a coincidence that during one of the lowest times in my life I have been given the gift of such a great source of joy and love.  (yea, I said the L word)
• I am thankful for the health that I have.  I've had many challenges but still I am here, I am upright, I am mobile and I am able to live a good life thanks to a Gracious God and excellent medical care (and pretty damn good insurance, despite the insanity of our health care system).  I honestly never thought I'd live to see 50, and yet here I am, less than a year away and going strong.
• I am thankful for the Lord Jesus Christ who died on a cross for my sins, those I've already committed and those I have yet to commit, so that I may live forever in the presence of God.
• I am thankful for the roof over my head, even with the little leak.  It's a lovely house and someday (soon, I hope!) someone else will see how lovely it is and want to buy it from me!  But for now I am thankful I can still make the mortgage payments and so on.
• I am thankful that I have yarn and needles so that I can be creative and practical at the same time.
• I am thankful for my cat, Rosie, who has learned how to snuggle.