Dream of a Hero

I once had a dream that I was at a reenactment event (Rendezvous friends, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout) and as I was walking through the field at night, making my way between tents, I heard singing in the distance.  This is not unusual.  Singing at night around the campfire is largely why I fell in love with Rendezvous and there are usually many sing-alongs around many campfires all around the encampment.  In this dream I turned towards the music and walked up over a small rise to see a group of folks around a warm, inviting fire.  The singing grew louder as I approached and I could make out the individual instruments - washbasin bass, banjo, guitar, fiddle, maybe a dulcimer in there . . . yes, there's the dulcimer's drones . . .

I kept walking and could begin to make out some voices.  Many I recognized as Rendezvous people and one voice, in particular, sounded so familiar it was like family.  It wasn't family, though, it was Pete Seeger.  I could hear him singing and I was so happy because I knew he must love Rendezvous and all of the music we have at night.  I started walking more quickly, nearly running (although even in my dream I knew that running through a field of tents in the dark is foolish - too many tent stakes and ropes), and just as I got to the edge of the circle and was about to speak to my hero . . . I woke up.

That dream was so vivid, so real at the time that I spent all day recalling it.  I've thought about it often ever since, and it's probably been at least 12 years since I had it.  I've thought about it as I lay down at night, hoping that I could return to that fire and sing along with him, but it has never happened.

Today, on the day after his passing, I pray that he is enjoying a great campfire with a great many singers.  I know that someday, Mr. Seeger, I will get to sing with you in the afterlife . . . unless you're singing protest songs in front of the Pearly Gates. 

Is It Too Late to Air Grievances?

Pet Peeves

• adobe forms that don't save
• requiring snail mail submissions
• waiting
• applications that require that you repeat everything on your resume (what is the point of this?)
• requiring someone applying for the top position in an organization to complete the same application that your entry-level positions require (yes, I'm over 18 and no longer need my parents to sign for me, yes I want full-time)
• requiring an official transcript from graduate school after I've been in the field as a professional for 22 years
• waiting
• printer cartridges that run out too quickly
• drafty house
• waiting
• waiting 
• waiting

2013 is dead, long live 2014!

I shall make 2 lists (love them!).  One is the list of good and wonderful things of 2013.  The other is a list of things that provided big challenges to me.  You decide which is which.

List 1

• stopped working at CML
• worked hard to ready the house for sale - after living here 16-17 years, it's a big job!
• living completely alone (with Rosie) in my house most of the time now

List 2

• A dear friend successfully came through a double-transplant procedure and is still doing well a year later!
• participated in a great group called Divorce Care that really allowed me to process more stuff from my divorce.
• got to hear Geoffrey Canada speak in person.
• met Troy - a really great guy and we're still dating after 9 months!
• stopped working at CML
• have received remarkable and heroic support from my parents
• had loads of help and did some great clean-up and work on my house to ready it for sale
• celebrated my son graduating from HS and Career Center - so proud!
• watched a great revised performance of Hamlet done by the Black Box Theater Career Center, Simon as stage manager
• had a boarder for a month
• went to ALA in Chicago, visited Scott and Tony
• had many interviews for a bunch of different libraries over phone, skype and in person
• transported Simon to Kansas City Art Institute - got him settled in  with the help of Mom and drove back - much fun!
• saw Troy perform a couple of times, even provided rides as the chief driver - much fun!
• Troy took me to Hawaii!
• Many good times with my friends  - so supportive, loving, compassionate.
• Great visits with my folks and renewed friendships from college days up in that area - really wonderful
• Great times with my son, mostly watching movies or talking about movies
• Miraculously able to keep afloat and make ends meet, with help from my parents and support from friends (not to mention support and encouragement from Troy)

I love how these lists all worked out.  It's been a hard, challenging year in some very crucial ways but overall it's been fine.  I'm still here, I'm still afloat.  My unemployment may have ended (unless Congress does something to change that) but I somehow have this feeling that everything is going to work out.  I don't know what it comes from except possibly God.  I haven't been doing much of those godly things that one is supposed to do, but somehow He is still with me.  Go figure.  I still freak out sometimes, get really upset or really worried about things, and those close to me will attest that my emotions are always right under the surface and come bursting out most inconveniently at times (seriously, must I cry so much?).  All in all, though, there are worse things to deal with in this life.  I am fortunate to have so many blessings.  2013, a rocky year but one filled with MANY MORE BLESSINGS than challenges.