Happy Birthday Big Brother!

Today is my big brother's birthday! In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am going to share the things about my brother that I love and respect.

• He is always there for me. We don't talk on the phone or write letters much, but I know that whenever I need him, he is there for me. It's comforting and stablizing.
• His sense of humor. There have been times, when we were younger, that his sense of wry, teasing humor drove me up the wall, but I really do love how he puts words together. He makes me laugh.
• His love of jazz. He taught me a lot about music appreciation when I was growing up, although he probably doesn't realize it. Mostly it was just listening to whatever was blaring on his stereo.
• His laid-back gift of hospitality. It relaxes me to spend time with him. He understands the joy of companionable silence. I particularly loved this when we were camping together.
• He taught me how to drink. Ok, you may think this sounds inappropriate, but honestly, when I came of age, it was my brother who gave me tips on not being stupid. Of course, I still had my stupid moments (don't we all?)
• His love of history.
  
• His ability to fix stuff. He just understands how things work . . . or he can figure it out. And he can figure out why things aren't working, too.
• His appreciation of the absurd. This goes along with his sense of humor, but it deserves it's own category.
• His wife. He looked around a long time before he committed, and Suzie was worth the wait, IMHO.
• His imagination. I've loved playing D&D, going to re-enactments, delving into fantasy and sci-fi literature . . . all by following in his footsteps. He would say I shouldn't follow his footsteps but walk one step behind and a little to the right, as is a woman's proper place (see sense of humor, above)
• His acting, lighting and other theatrical skills. Along with this is his willingness to make fun of himself. I love that about him. I will never, ever forget when he walked onto the stage in South Pacific in that coconut bra and started dancing. I nearly caused myself injury, I laughed so hard.
  

I am fortunate to have grown up in a great family. Sure, we've had our disagreements and rocky patches here and there, but underlying everything is the knowledge that we all love one another. We are all there for one another.

Happy Birthday, Dear Brother! I love you!

Seriously? Another one?

Yea, well, I'm on medical leave again. I know, I know - when will it end? I have no idea, and frankly, I'd love it if I were doing anything but this - trust me!

I've been complaining of this drippy nose - these sinus issues - for months. Months and months and months. Well, turns out, it wasn't mucus of any kind, it was actually spinal fluid. Leaking out my nose. Yea, you read it right. It is a spontaneous CSF leak. How weird is that? Pretty darn weird, let me tell you! And scary, too, because if stuff can leak out, other stuff can get in, which put me at great risk for . . . oh . . . menenghitis, etc. Sounds lovely, eh? How does this happen, you ask? Is it my wild lifestyle, the fall I took in January? what? Well, we're still trying to figure that out (me and my new Doctor pals), but it is most likely from long-undiagnosed sleep apnea. No kidding! Again - how freaky is that!?!?!!?

Ok - so one day I'm working and dripping and getting a few minor headaches, and the next day I'm fearing for my life and wondering what will happen and knowing that I might need to have brain surgery. Then they got it all figured out and realized that they could do the surgery through the nose, which means no cool scars (not even black eyes - sorry - nothing cool to photograph at all, really, except the bags under my eyes, but honestly, they're usually there anyway).

Basically, the Dr had told me Thursday, July 23, to await his call Monday morning to get another CT scan and an endoscopy (up my nose with a rubber hose, or summat). They were going to get me in Friday the 24th, but the Dr was busy, as was I (heading North for my brother's wedding)

So Monday found me calling off and waiting a bit, and then getting scoped and scanned, and then Tuesday found me in the hospital, and there you have it. That Thursday - hmm - July 30, they did the surgery (had to do more tests first, of course, including lumbar puncture, and then they put in a lumbar drain, an experience I would only wish on people who are cruel to small children). The surgeon took some bone tissue from my left sinus area and used it to patch the holes he found. Instead of small holes, actually, he found a thinned area - like a very worn cover of a book - or a sieve (my sister always said I have a memory like a steel sieve), and he patched it, then stuffed that side of my facial parts with . . . well . . . I have no idea what is in there, but I can tell you I'm sick of it! It's helping to hold the patch in place when I cough, though, or when I sneeze, which I do occassionally. Blah. I'm not allowed to blow my nose, or bend over forward, or pick up anything heavy (pity - no laundry for me, still!)

I have no idea when I'll be able to go back to work. I keep thinking it'll just be a bit more, but I am getting the feeling this week that this is all a much bigger deal than I was letting myself believe.

Signs that this is harder on my body than I'd like to admit:

• I don't feel like being social at all - have even asked for fewer phone calls
• I'm tired all the time, and have headaches a lot
• Sleeping often makes my headaches worse - figure THAT out!
• I don't feel much like knitting (don't be scared - yesterday I knit about 3 rounds on a hat I'm making)
  
• I was light-sensitive for about 4 days after surgery, and couldn't really focus my eyes for at least that long - longer, actually, I think
• My memory is fuzzy
• I have odd tingling sometimes - like the palms of my hands, my baby toes, or my left buttock - go figure
• I don't feel like eating, and when I do, nothing seems to taste good (ok - that sweet corn from the farm market yesterday was awesome - and at lunch I could still barely finish one ear)

So - I'm trying to find ways to cheer myself up. Will you help? There are a lot of idioms that we use in our language that would be very funny if used by me in this situation . I've got a few here, but please share any you think of, and give me an example of how I can use it in conversation! I'm looking for humor here - tasteless is definitely in bounds!

• I needed this like I needed a hole in my head.
• This has given me a whole new meaning for "brain drain" and I'm not sure I like it!
• Look, it's not exactly brain surgery, right? Just do it!
  

Many beautiful things

I've not posted in a while, and I figure I have a lot of good things for which I can be thankful, so I'll share some with you.

1. My fancy new knee brace makes a good support for my laptop.
2. I'm walking more each day, including going w/o the wheelchair in my house.
3. Getting behind the wheel of my car (did I mention it matches the color of my new knee brace?) and driving for the first time tonight.
4. Although the weatherman predicted a rainy weekend, it's been sunny and thoroughly beautiful both days.
5. My son, of whom I"m so very proud, mowed the lawn today.
6. The smell of garlic wafting in the windows as Si mowed the garlic that has sprouted in the yard (overflow from the garden).
7. Lilies of the valley are blooming! They, also, are taking over the lawn in teh back. I'd be happy to have an entire yard of flowers, to be honest.
8. Sitting in the park this morning with a couple of good friends (and Mike and Si) and playing a few songs (me on mando, Bu-ying on her Chinese flutes)
9. The sound of Bu-ying's gourd flute wafting "Amazing Grace" through the woods.
10. So many kind friends willing to take me to PT.
11. My brother is engaged to a really nice woman! Yay love!